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  • Writer's pictureSharanya Naidoo

Not Feeling Empty

Updated: Aug 15, 2019

February 5th 2017

Pillar 2 in the Three Cups Full philosophy

There are three layers to feeling full.

The second pillar is there are three layers to feeling full. The first layer is the love layer, the love cup, and then the second is the acceptance cup, and finally the third layer is the respect cup. Now it is an art not a science. Some people have amazingly full respect cups but the love cup is half full, and other people are vice versa.

The love cup… What is the love cup? When the love cup is full we have this overflowing love for ourselves that is unconditional, so the love we give to ourselves is without condition. So if you feel… as long as I’m a good person I deserve to feel loved or I deserve to receive love or I’m intelligent therefore I deserve to feel loved or to be given love, whatever it is, whatever the condition is, that is not unconditional love. There’s something inside that will feel like they always have to act a certain way or behave, feel, think, look a certain way in order to feel deserving of love.

That love layer is really the core of your being. It is the part of you that I would call your soul. And you love yourself simply because you exist, simply because you were born you deserve love. So when you ask a child do you love yourself, it’s just an absurd question because they were never taught not to. They were never taught that there are parts of themselves that are not lovable or deserving of love, and I’m talking about a child, three years old and under.

The second layer is the acceptance layer and that’s when you bring in the next layers of your identity and your being, your body, your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviour, your decisions and everything that makes you you. And so the acceptance in being exactly who you are makes you feel like wherever your feet land you belong. You don’t need anything extra in order to make you feel as though you’re acceptable and that you belong.

And this will reflect outward in your life in feeling connected to the wider web that is humanity and Mother Earth. You’ll feel like you’re a part of the human race and you’re not observing, looking in. And this will reflect beautifully in your relationships because when you accept yourself you give another person the space to be exactly who they are.

If you’re an introvert and you fully embrace it and you don’t try and change it and you don’t feel bad about it and you fully accept that I’m an introverted person. Then when you come across someone who’s either introverted or extroverted or whatever they are on that scale, you allow them to be exactly who they are. It’s only when we feel judged for being a certain way that we then feel unacceptable.

The third layer is the respect cup, and the respect cup is really respecting your ideas and the work that you do for others. So it’s bringing in that other layer of contribution and purpose into the equation. And when you respect what you bring to the table and what you have to offer and what your gift is and what you want to share with the world and you don’t need permission from anyone to embrace those gifts and those talents and interests, you will feel a beautiful, deep sense of self-respect.

And that self-respect will then filter through everything you do and the value you give to others will just be filled with this fullness and contained in this beautiful sentiment of giving and serving. And that itself is just so attractive to other people. But you don’t do it for that. You don’t do it for the praise or for the glory or for anything like that. It’s just simply you do it because that’s what you were born to do and you have given yourself permission to do the work that you were born to do and that you’re interested in.

So the three layers are love, acceptance, and respect. And when we allow ourselves to feel loved simply for existing, accepted, and a sense of belonging for being exactly who we are and the multi-faceted diamond that we are, and respect for our ideas and our intentions and the work that we put out there, you feel full on the (inside) and in turn the outside world will reflect back that fullness to you. So the second pillar is feeling full has three layers.



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