September 15th 2017
About two years ago, I was at a writing retreat in the mountains near Melbourne. We were learning how to use nature as a portal to our creative flow. It worked. When I was able to put my mind on the shelf, the words came through so easily. We would go for walks amongst the trees for inspiration. The teacher told us, at one point, to pick one tree, sit by it, feel its energy, and then go back to the house to write whatever comes up.
I had one of the most profound experiences of my life in that moment. I placed my hand on the tree and I was overcome with this feeling of completeness and fullness. It is difficult to describe but all my fears and worries melted away. My energy expanded outside of myself so I no longer felt like a small, separate being but rather, connected the greatness of the ONE. It lasted a few minutes. I felt as though I didn’t need a thing. Time suspended. I had this feeling that I didn’t need food, money, desires, anything. I felt connected to everything.
And then the fear set in. My mind, in particular my ego, panicked that I no longer identified with it. It reminded my of all my loved ones and how could I possibly not need them. The thought of being so far removed from society and other people was enough to bring me back into my body and back to my old ways. I was not ready to stand so firmly in nature, to feel so connected, to be so powerful in my “enough-ness”.
And then Costa Rica happened a week ago.
The call back to nature was so strong. Never before had we booked a holiday so impulsively. Only two weeks in advance. Before we had time to blink, our feet were walking on Costa Rican soil. Seven nights does not seem that it would be long enough to make any significant impact on a person, but it did. To live surrounded with nothing but nature, to be with people that have not one drop of stress in their body, and to tune in to what makes them that way, is enough to transform you.
I’ve come to believe that there is no greater healing tool than nature herself. Whatever ailment, be it mental, physical, or spiritual, nature is some form has an answer. We got a huge dose of it and have returned to our lives in Melbourne “full”. This time I didn’t plug out of it. My ego, and the safe comfort zone of separation, didn’t win. My spirit won. It is now singing at the frequency of the Earth herself. My inner voice has never been so crisp and clear, my mind so calm and quiet. I feel renewed. Fresh. Alive. And full.
Nature is our answer to all of the “not good enoughs” we carry. Any egoic identification has a chance to dissolve when we are tuned into a vibration that brings us back to our source. The symphony of the forest. We don’t hear it, no, we are the music.
Although, I know I can connect back to her any time I want, I wouldn’t mind jumping on the next plane to connect back in stunning Costa Rica.