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  • Writer's pictureSharanya Naidoo

3 Tips: Flow & Control

November 22nd 2017

Flow and Control. How do apply each of these states of being in order to manifest what we desire?

This week I wanted to talk about flow and control and my top three tips for navigating flow and control. So energetically speaking, flow when compared to control is more feminine. Control is more masculine. Flow is all about going with the flow, floating downstream, allowing life to come to you, attraction. Control is all about structure, logic, tying up all the known variables and controlling unknown variables as much as you can try to, but having a very analytical non-emotional approach to whatever situation you’re going through.

Neither one is better or worse. Both bring balance into our lives. And at certain junctures in our life we will notice whether we’re in flow or we’re more in control. So I think control has gotten a bad rap when people are talking about the law of attraction because it’s all about… the conversation goes to controlling the universe. But when it comes to life both sides of ourselves are needed to feel fulfilled and to be fulfilled.

So tip #1, flow happens when you let go of the result. We spoke about this a little bit last week. Flow truly happens, you can step into flow when you’ve let go of how things need to look, need to be when you get to the end. So when you’re in a state of flow you have handed over the reins of control to the universe or your soul, your higher self. So you understand okay, my mind doesn’t know all options available, let me… let go of control and step into a space of receiving whatever comes my way by the hand of the universe.

You put your intention out there, you feel as though you’ve already got it, and however it comes let me be surprised. Because I don’t know all the options. I don’t know all the permutations and combinations of how this thing can come to me. So let me just… let it go. I will hold a space for the element of surprise to see how whatever I’m desiring comes to me.

I also let go of what it needs to look like. Like we mentioned last week in the video on manifesting when you tightly hold the picture of what it is you want, you’re very likely to get it. So if you want a specific car you can attract a specific car, but is it the right car for you? Is it the best car for you? Do you know that your wife’s going to fall pregnant in two months and then you’re going to need a huge four-wheel drive, you know? And so you can’t see around corners is it the right car for you.

It’s very different to attract the car you want versus the car that’s right for you. Two different things. It’s perfect when it aligns but often our mind doesn’t know what we truly, truly desire and truly, truly need. The mind will pick from the options available and those options are limited, and everything that is out there that’s available is not even in our spectrum of awareness.

When you let go of what it needs to look like you can concentrate on how you want to feel and the qualities that you want to attract so that whatever encasement it comes in it doesn’t really matter because if it brings the experience of it then you’ve got your manifestation. So when you’re in the space of flow you’ve let go of the outcome, of how it’s going to come to you, and also of what the result completely looks like in terms of tangible results.

Tip #2 is control the variables that are within your realm of control. So you can control the way you feel to a certain extent. When you’re manifesting certainly you can control the way you feel. You can control what you ask for, what you want. Be very specific about what it is you want to have in your life. Often it comes from the contrast of what you’ve noticed that you don’t like and that will then show you what you do want and that’s a specific thing to ask for.

You can be very deliberate about what you want to create in your life because you have the freewill to choose what you want. That decisiveness is completely within your realm of control. When you lose that sense of control when it comes to your decisions you get lost in indecisiveness, you get stuck, you don’t move forward, you don’t take opportunities. You’re sitting in a place of confusion and that confusion will just grow fear. And the more fear you feel when you’re not taking action it will spiral you down to attracting more and more of what you don’t want.

So control… tip #2, control what you put out there. Control what you ask for. Control your decisions. Being decisive is a form of control, and that’s a good thing. So control your decisions about what you ask for, what you want, and allow the contrast of what you’ve experienced in your life to help formulate those decisions.

When we are moving more from the place of certainty and control we are the captain of the ship. So we are telling the universe where we want to end up but the universe with flow will guide us there. So how it comes, who knows? The universe does. Your higher self, your soul knows, and your inner voice is the compass that will get you there to the end result.

And the third tip when it comes to control and flow, understand that they’re both sides of the same coin. They’re both sides of the same coin so don’t devalue one or the other. Value and honour both. Value and honour both. What happens is if you devalue one and you only honour the other, the extreme version of that is not healthy.

If you’re in a state of complete flow without exercising your ability to decide to discriminate between the contrast of what you’re experiencing and guide your decisions about what it is you want to experience, that will side of you does not get exercised and it creates an imbalance because if you don’t bring that part of you to life, the will, that sense of… that control, that decisiveness, flow ends up getting stagnant. I’ll just wait for the universe to tell me what to do. I will just wait for my dream husband to find me. I will not participate in any action.

In order to act you’ve got to decide to act and that’s the part that you can control. You can’t control… You don’t have to be able to control the outcome. You actually can’t control the outcome, but what you can control is the energy you bring to the universe.

When you are honouring both sides it’s a beautiful play. It’s a beautiful dance. If you are devaluing flow and only focusing on control, you’ll end up in a spiral of perfectionism. You will end up anxious. You will end up trying to control components that are not within your reach of control. And your stress all the way to your manifestation if you ever get the manifestation is going to be a journey of turmoil. It’s not going to be ease. It’s not going to be joy. It’s not going to be excitement with the challenge. It’s just going to be really, really stressful because there’s a part of you that can’t let go.

And so the third tip is to value and honour both. Value the flow, the unpredictability, the mystery, the magic, the mysticism that’s available to you from your own inner self, from your soul, from the universe. Honour that there is so many infinite possibilities out there, infinite possibilities out there, that you don’t have to put pressure on yourself to figure out which one is the right one for you. You just don’t. All you have to decide is which direction you want to move in.

When it comes to control allow yourself permission to decide. Allow yourself permission to decide what you want. Don’t leave it up to astrology. Don’t leave it up to people that you think are wiser than you. Don’t leave it up to what you think karma has in store for you. Decide what you want. Your imprint changes your life. Your energy frequency can change the outer world around you. And those of us that practise that know for certain that that is the power that’s held within a human being, their ability to manifest change in their life.

But when you’ve got the tools, sometimes the operation of the tools is murky. We don’t know how to use the tools we’ve got. And we’ve all got an inner voice. We’ve all got that connection to the infinite divine intelligence that’s available to us. We’ve all got that connection. We’ve all got a mind that has the ability to be discriminating and supportive. It’s a tool. It’s an implement inside our system that we are allowed to use, that we have access to.

When you don’t know how to operate it, when you don’t know how to operate your life with the inner voice or operate your life with a mind that’s tamed, that’s under your control… It’s a tiger that’s your best friend, it listens to you, it follows your instructions. And who are you? You’re the soul behind the façade, the screen that is your mind projecting out this ego identity into the world of who you are. Who you truly are is what’s behind that ego identity, the soul that lives within, and that soul wants to express freely. It wants to live and enjoy and manifest and move and flow with the universe, with the current of the universe. It wants to allow that energy to flow through you.

What you can do is allow both sides of you to manifest beautifully within you. Know what you can control and do a good job of controlling it. You can control your mind, you can control your thoughts, you can control your decisions, you can control your actions. Bring control into those areas from your inner world and leave flow, leave that surrender, leave it to the universe, leave it to your soul, leave it to God. And be amazed and surprised with the avenues that open up to you to allow your manifestation to come.

Those are my three tips when it comes to flow and control. I love both. I used to hate control. I used to hate control and what ended up happening was I felt other things were controlling me. It’s an interesting thing. When you disown one part of yourself you’ll find that you’re not in balance. There’s no such thing as perfect balance but there is the yin and the yang. So when you disown control you’ll find that other things are controlling you and it will feel chaotic and chaos won’t be fun. It just won’t be fun.

When you are in flow it almost becomes hedonistic in a way … just let it come to me. Let it just… let whatever needs to be be. And that’s fantastic if you know what’s playing unconsciously in your experience. Otherwise it’ll just look like it’s meant to be. It’s not always meant to be. Like this stuff happening inside you unconsciously that’s creating the patterns around you and if you just sit in a place of flow and oh, just let it be, there are other elements inside you controlling you, controlling your thoughts and your patterns and your behaviour that you’re not aware of.

And so bring in that sense of power and understanding and control over what you see manifesting around you, the patterns that you see, and do something about it, act on it. Decide what you want to do. Decide how you want to behave. Decide how you want to feel, how you want to think. And when things are not matching do something about it.

Flow comes when you just throw your hands up to the universe and go… let’s just go. Let me just float downstream and I allow the space of whatever is out there to come to me, but I will be the director of the ship. And the ‘I’ that I’m talking about is the inner voice. So when you hear the inner voice, allow it to move through you. Allow it to be the captain of your ship who decides where you’re going and what’s coming, because that part of you is connected to the universe, and the universe is just everything you see around us vibrating frequencies. It will bring the right frequency to you.

So all you can control is your inner world, so exercise that. And surrender all the results, all the energy shifting and changing. Surrender that. Let that flow. Let that go. You can’t… Work from within out not from out inside. So don’t try and control the elements on the outside because you can’t. You can try and it’ll stress you out and make you anxious, but you can’t control all that stuff. You can control the way you react, the way you respond, the way you think, the way you feel, the way you behave, and that is where your power lies. Control your inner world and let the outer world flow as it does because your energy that moves from your inner world, from that space, is the causing agent. It’s what causes the outer world to manifest as it does. It’s secondary. Primary is your inner world.

So I hope you like those three top tips on manifestation and allowing flow and control to bring a sense of power into your life and not get caught up in the extremes of each but to honour and value both sides of the same coin. And when you do that you’ll find the flow happens so naturally and beautifully and you embrace the chaos, you’re okay with the chaos because there’s a sense of control in your inner world.



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